Sexual Assault awareness month
It is a hard and complex time to write about sexual assault due to all of the information that has come out about the Epstein files and CNN’s investigative report on the Rape Academies. We are not seeing what any victim/survivor of sexual assault would call justice regarding these large cases. We are not even seeing an attempt at justice. I have experienced this in my past and I have worked with victims of sexual assault for many years. I have seen little justice in these cases in court, however, I have seen Karma come around for many of the offenders.
It is apparent at present that there are societal and cultural problems around how we teach about sexuality, how we do not talk about sexuality, how we judge sexuality, and so on. First and foremost, it is about consent and understanding what consent is. There is a new approach about teaching consent that says that instead of looking for the absence of the word “no,” look for the presence of the word “yes.” Additionally, asking or suggesting or trying over and over in one evening together is coercive and coercion is not consent.
Offenders rely on the shame and guilt that comes for the victims. They know how little actual rapes are reported for that very reason. Our court system unfortunately makes it about the victim’s character. So the system we have in place to address this issue retraumatizes the victims.
The community or society-at-large tends to add shame to the victims because “they did not report.” They do not understand that this crime is the largest violation against a person affecting body, mind and soul. I work with victims day in and day out, I have heard the stories of what these offenders have done, it is not for regular human cognition because it does not make any sense.
My hope is for those victims to start healing and to get the therapy that they need after that kind of violation. I also have hope that as a society we start letting people know that forcing anyone to do anything against their will is not accepted, not okay, and is illegal.
If this has happened to you, please get counseling from a therapist who works with victims of sexual assault.
